Wednesday, November 30, 2011

The Silver Briefcase

For some reason I've always wanted to own a briefcase.  Not just any briefcase mind you, but one of those silver metal briefcases used in countless TV shows and movies.  It was often seen holding piles of cash (used for ransoms, bribes, or black market arms deals), various forms of illegal drugs, or in some cases a bomb with a visual countdown timer comprised of large red digits.

This all reminds me of something I've noticed about these briefcases though.  Did you ever notice when the "bad guys" passed a load of cash or drugs they always sent the case along with?  I guess when you are exchanging a few hundred grand perhaps it doesn't matter that you are giving up a $400 briefcase, but what if the drug dealer had a sentimental attachment to the case?  Can they just dump the cash or the drugs into a brown paper sack and send them on their way? Would they feel shortchanged if they gave up their nice shiny briefcase but in return they were given a hello kitty messenger bag?  What are the rules for bag exchanges during drug deals... this is information I just can't figure out via Wikipedia.

Also, why don't drug dealers ever use cheap duffel bags?  I have to tell you if I know I'm going to walk away from a deal with either a pile of cocaine or a pile of cash... I'm thinking I would rather have it in a backpack or something.  Because if a cop sees a guy walking down the street with a metal briefcase he might start asking questions.  On the other hand, if a cop sees someone walking around with a backpack... well that is just another guy with a backpack.  He blends in - that is the entire point right?

Ok so clearly I'm never going to actually own a silver metal briefcase, because I don't wish to be confused with a drug dealer and I don't want to deal with the hassles of the TSA if I ever decide to fly somewhere.  Plus, I'm more a function over form type of guy... so I'd much rather have something with a shoulder strap and something that I can easily stow a laptop in without needing to remember a random three digit combination.

You have to admit though... walking around with a silver briefcase would probably turn some heads.  Maybe not because people think it is cool, but people wondering if they were sucked into a time vortex and arrived back in 1987... you know - back when people actually used briefcases.

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